Perfectly Legal in the Christian Views on Marriage
In Christian views of marriage, often the focus of attention is on the first part of Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled…”While no one will argue about the sanctity of marriage, there are many misconceptions about sexual intimacy. Many are so focused on the word “undefiled” that they wrongfully conclude that anything concerning the sex is defiling. Leadership of the church, their harsh teachings or shame-filled silence, and antiquated concepts of married sex often make men and women think that sex is a shameful act, to be performed only infrequently in a rigid manner. Out of fear, even loving sex, full of passion and excitement, between a husband and wife is considered taboo. Yet the rest of Hebrews 13:4— “… for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (NKJV)— shows us that it is not passion and excitement that defiles the marriage bed, it is fornication and adultery. Clearly, the Bible does not say God will judge a husband and wife who enjoy vibrant and fulfilling sex life together! In fact, passion and excitement in the marriage bed is a protection against sin (See 1 Corinthians 7:2)
Therefore, married sex should never be viewed as something dirty or wrong. Christian married sex is an extension of the love shared by a husband and wife. It is a natural component of married life. Married sex is a gift that should be enjoyed in every way possible, as often as possible. Each time a man and woman comes together in a sexual union, they strengthen the ties that bind them together.
You must always cherish this gift and nurture every aspect of your relationship.
As you come together emotionally and spiritually, do not neglect the physical aspect of your relationship. Often we focus on emotions and affection when we think of romance. For Valentine’s Day, we think about love poems and sweet words. Yet, in the Scriptures, we see love and romance in a marriage is more than just words. In the Song of Solomon, the lovers did praise each other with their words—“How beautiful you are my darling! Oh how beautiful! Your eyes are doves!” ( S of S 1:5). But furthermore, they also delighted in each other physically—
“You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits….
Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.
I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.” (S of S 4:12- 5:1)
Using the metaphor of a garden for his wife’s body, Solomon describes the parts of her body as choice fruits. She invited him “into her garden” as an invitation to enjoy her physically, an invitation to which apparently he responds joyfully, by “coming into the garden”, “gathering”, “eating” and “drinking” metaphorically speaking.
If the Holy Spirit could pen such romantic and passionate words, then clearly a healthy passionate physical relationship between a husband and wife is important to Him. Therefore, think of the marriage bed as the ideal opportunity for romance. Each time that you come together in a sexual union, you are paving the way to a deeper, richer relationship with your spouse. Take pleasure in each other and rejoice each time you share your passion.
Don't believe the misconception that your sexual encounters can only happen at night, in your bedroom, as a prelude to sleep.
Spice up your marriage and explore the endless possibilities. Your love life will never go stale when you try a new sex position or different sexual techniques. Shake things up and try every room in the house or find a secluded location outdoors and give yourself to one another while surrounded by the natural beauty of God's creation. Find the pleasure in marriage sex at any time of day, any day of the week. Take a day off from work to revel in each other as you share your bed and bodies from sun up to sun down. Find sexual intimacy after lunch, before dinner, or even before you head off to church service on a Sunday morning. God has created you for one another. You are meant to enjoy a passionate marriage and delight in the bounty of your bodies, hearts, and minds.
If so, it doesn't need to be this way!
We've partnered with Intimate Christian Marriage in order to provide you resources we believe will of great service if you're in need of help with your own Christian views on Marriage in terms of the physical aspect of lovemaking.
A sexless marriage can be helped. It takes the right knowledge and dedication to the needs of one another.
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