Romance Sex What Is It Really?
Marriage just like anything else in life can become routine. If you are not careful, the daily drudgery of life can sap the romance, sex, and passion out of your relationship. Life is hectic and it is only natural that we all get busy and focused on our jobs, the kids, chores and paying the bills.
But in so doing, sometimes our marriages can suffer. Surface conversations and lackluster displays of affection can become common place if you allow them to. So how do you spice up your marriage and revive the fire?
Often when couples are dating they have more of a romantic relationship than when they are married. The potential husband takes more time to woo and win over his desired wife, and she shows more responsiveness to his advances. He thinks of thoughtful ideas to win her affection and she thinks of enticing ways to capture his attentions.
The pursuit of each other is what fans the flames of romance. Yet, once married the pursuit often ends. This should not be the case! One of the secrets to a happy marriage is to keep the pursuit alive. Proverbs 5:19 puts it this way: …Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.(ESV) Husbands and wives should be intoxicated with and physically delightful to each other always.
What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know.
The author and founder and leader of Sovereign Grace Ministries, CJ Mahaney describes how important romance sex and passion are to the foundation of a strong marriage. Pastor Mahaney gives 7 sure fire ways to kindle romance in your relationship—date nights, phone calls, notes cards or letters, gifts, music, getaways, and surprises. Though some of his suggestions are more involved to pull off than others, music, phone calls, and notes are the simplest and easiest out of the romantic lineup. They are the simple gestures that keep the pursuit and passion alive in your marriage.
Often in marriages, it’s the little things that are taken for granted—like the time and effort that goes into cooking dinner each night, or the time and effort that goes into saving up money for little splurge or a small indulgence. It’s those little unacknowledged things that can lead to a rift. So, conversely, it is the little things-- like a sweet note left on the bathroom mirror, or phone call from work just to say I’m thinking of you-- which can improve your marriage and make each other feel acknowledged and appreciated.
The next four on Mahaney’s list-- date nights, gifts, getaways and surprises-- are equally important to marriage romance.
Date nights create an oasis during a hectic week to reconnect and unite with each other. They don’t have to be expensive. In fact some of the most romantic date nights can be free. A walk hand in hand to look at holiday lights around the neighborhood, a drive through a scenic countryside, or enjoying a street musician from a park bench are all free ways to spend time together. Gifts and surprises don’t always have to be jewelry, chocolates and flowers. Sometimes the surprise or gift is doing an unexpected chore that you know your spouse doesn’t like to do. Coming home to a candlelit dinner, or arriving at work to find a new mug and a beautiful framed picture of your smiling spouse are little inexpensive surprises that keep the passion burning in your marriage.
It is those simple displays of affection outside the bedroom that keep the passion going in the bedroom. Without romance sex will become rote, dull and routine. But with romance sex will become filled with the physical expressions of hearts that are emotionally and spiritually nourished and connected.
Romance is an important secret to a strong marriage. Take the time today to rekindle the romance in your relationship.