Is Your Most Important Sexual Organ In Good Shape?
Do you know what your most important sexual organ is? And is it in the prime condition it needs to be in to enjoy passionate, fulfilling intimacy in marriage?
You most important sexual organ is probably not what you are thinking…. And this sexuality test will help you determine if it is in the shape it needs to be?
Your mind! Your mind is your most important sexual organ because how you think and feel about sex will determine your engagement, enjoyment, and liberty in the marriage bed. Proverbs 23:7 tells us this principle “As one thinks in the heart, so is he.” Though the context of this verse is not concerning the marriage bed, the principle holds true across all areas of life, including sex and marriage. The Bible also tell us “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV) So if your mind is in top gear for a passionate sex life, then naturally a fulfilling sex life will flow out from that.
Here are ten statements to find out what kind of shape you’re in. Pick a, b, or c to show how closely you agree with or disagree with each statement.
1. I believe sexual pleasure is mostly for men. Women can maybe enjoy sex a little, but not really as much as men do.
a. Yes, I definitely agree.
b. Maybe there’s some truth to that.
c. No, I definitely do not agree.
2. I think with eager anticipation about a physically intimate time with my spouse.
a. No not at all.
b. Yes, sometimes I do.
c. I often do.
3. I feel comfortable with myself physically and don’t mind showing all of my body to my spouse.
a. No, I’d rather be covered up to conceal my physical faults
b. Somewhat; there are some things don’t like about myself physically, and I’m a little uncomfortable showing them.
c. Yes, I’m completely comfortable with showing my spouse my body.
4. I like to watch pornographic movies and look at sexually explicit images to get aroused.
a. Yes, those images bring me pleasure.
b. Sometimes. I don’t always look at them, but I do think of them to get me in the mood.
c. No, I do not look at movies or images like that.
5. I think of my spouse as physically attractive.
a. No, my spouse doesn’t physically attract me at all.
b. Somewhat; there are a few aspects of my spouse that are physically attractive.
c. Yes, I find my spouse quite attractively physically.
6. When I fantasize about my “secret pleasure”, my thoughts are focused on something intimate I can enjoy with my spouse.
a. No. I don’t ever have fantasies
b. Sort of. I sometimes fantasize but not really about my spouse.
c. Yes, my fantasies are about intimate pleasures with my spouse.
7. I compare my married sex life to those that I see on rom-coms, soap operas, and other shows.
a. Yes, those are an important point of reference for me.
b. Sometimes; I don’t always make comparisons but sometimes they give me more exciting ideas.
c. No, I don’t make comparisons.
8. I think of our physical union in our marriage as just an obligation to my spouse.
a. Yes, I agree
b. Somewhat; sex is sometimes obligatory, though not always.
c. No, it’s more than an obligation.
9. I am afraid of trying new sexual techniques with my spouse.
a. Yes, I think we should “stick to the routine.”
b. Somewhat; I hesitate to try new things because I might not like it.
c. No, I am open to trying new things in my marriage bed.
10. I feel that having sexual desires and urges is wrong.
a. Yes, I agree. Sexual desires are always sinful.
b. Somewhat. Having sexual urges means one is lacking self-control.
c. No, I disagree. Sexual urges are natural and can be rightly fulfilled within marriage.
Mostly a’s : You are thinking of sex in a way that is not conducive to a healthy sexual relationship. Chances are you are filling your mind with thoughts that dampen your engagement and enjoyment in the bedroom. Unhealthy comparisons to unrealistic soap operas or unwholesome explicit images will taint your appreciation of and attraction to your spouse. A lackluster thought life, filled with only obligation and routine will lead to a marital intimacy that is cold and dying. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Spend time reading the Song of Solomon. Think about what attracted you to your spouse in the early days of your relationship. Plan an intimate getaway with your spouse, perhaps to a Christian marriage retreat. Write down some secret pleasure that can be an intimate moment enjoyed just between you and your spouse. Making these changes in your thought life, will lead to positive changes in your sex life.
Mostly b’s: You on the right track, but there’s still room for improvement. Chances are you’ve let some poor thinking creep in to your mind, perhaps doubts and discouragement about yourself and/or your spouse’s physique, or longing comparisons with other images you have seen. Often people think if there was more spark in their sex life then they’d feel better about themselves. But the reverse is true. Bring some spark back into your thoughts about sex and marriage, and that will add the spark back into your bedroom. Guard your heart against criticisms and unrealistic comparisons. Don’t be afraid to let loose and try new sexual techniques. Don’t let fear of dislike stand in your way. It’s okay if you try a different sexual position for example and don’t like it. It’s not a failure. Laugh it off, chalk it up to an experience and move on to try something else. Focus on thoughts that increase your confidence in your sexuality and increase your attraction to your spouse.
Mostly c’s: Congratulations! You are in prime shape for a healthy sexual relationship. Your thinking likely inspires passionate thoughts about your spouse. You realize that a healthy and active sex life is a God-given gift to you and your spouse. You are excited about exploring that gift with your mate and eager to make it the best it can be. Keep up the good work. Spend time with each other talking about the intimate things you enjoy. Discover one another's secret pleasure and fan the flames of your fantasies about each other. Continue to focus your thoughts on pleasing on another and the joys of physical love will flourish in your marriage for many years to come!
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